Dear
On a Personal Note
I haven't experienced this much continuous frost and extremely chilly weather since we landed in the UK in 2017. We've had plenty
of sunny days, but that means all the heat radiates out at night, then it's even colder the next day. There's frost in our back garden that hasn't melted in a week, it almost looks like snow.
Last week I had to go to my annual opthalmology appointment. As Murphy would have it, the appointment fell on the coldest morning I've ever experienced, and I could not drive there for
mulitple reasons. Public transport it was, then.
The thing our brain does extremely well
I lay awake the previous night with many fears milling in my head, and one outcome certain: It was going to be awful.
I had to walk 20 minutes to our local train station in - 7 Celsius (19 Fahrenheit) and my brain predicted how I'd slip and fall. Then it predicted how I wouldn't find my way to the bus stop after the train ride. Then there was an image in my mind - the bus would have an accident on route and I'd forfeit the appointment, and the NHS wouldn't give me another. Then my brain told me how nerve-wracking the appointment itself and the tests would be... And a few more things.
Relentless.
Can you identify? I want to laugh now, a week later... but while I was being tortured by those thoughts, it wasn't fun.
One of the main challenges about going through a difficult experience, is how lonely it can feel. Middle-of-the-night-thoughts are always worse - no-one can comfort
us, commiserate, empathise, or give us a hug. Healing and soothing happens with others.
All our troubles usually share that same quality: we feel lonely, isolated, like we're the only one who's ever experienced this. And that can lead to shame, and even more isolation.
That's why I love offering
small group calls. After every call, participants comment something like - "I'm so relieved to feel I'm not the only one going through this." There is so much healing in that one realisation already.
Back to the cold appointment day: The transport and appointment went extremely well, I'm grateful to say. In and out, no glitches, and tea and carrot cake and M&S
afterwards!
Which made me think once again how we simply cannot believe everything that goes on in our minds. Most of the time, they make predictions based on past experiences. They do that for good reason, so it's not to be blamed or judged. But it can be darn hard to get past the emotions to think rationally, so we can take actions that are good for us. I wanted to cancel that darn appointment and
ask for another in spring. I'm so glad I didn't though and got past the scare-mongering in my brain.
Right now, I'm getting my thinking cap on so I can offer something that would be valuable, light and fun and make a positive difference for you. Something that'll help you feel less lonely, and where you will be supported through some of the difficult emotions that inevitably come with
challenges.
I'd so appreciate your eyes on the options below and a quick reply. What feels most in alignment for you?
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