On a Business Note:
Habits, Self-Care and the Four Laws of
Behaviour Change
What prompted this article is a book I’m reading, a mole removal and thoughts on how I’m going to take care of myself in the next 10 days.
I’ve been reading James Clear’s book Atomic Habits, and have found it an excellent blend of stories, practical tips and scientific data. Then on Sunday I had a
mole removed on my right upper back. The doctor had to make a 4cm (about 1.5 inches) incision – quite a large stretch of skin that had to be sewn back together.
When I feel the tenderness, tugging and pulling when I move my arm, I’m reminded of how much of what we do are habits that simply happen on automatic pilot.
I’ve had to adapt a lot of my usual behaviour to not stretch the wound too much. I’m suddenly much more aware of how I use my arm and my back. And I’ve even started using my left arm to do a few things, like reaching up to put ingredients back in the pantry.
When I got ready for bed on the first night, I had to ask Andrew for help to get all the winter layers off. It was too
uncomfortable to use the normal cross-over-arms- method. Usually, it all happens on automatic pilot while I think of the next thing on my list.
In the shower, I had to pause and think: how am I going to wash my hair so I didn’t get the plaster drenched? Because I love my hot shower every morning (no bath in our house), I found the most ingenious way to rinse my hair sideways! Everything happened slower,
with a lot more mindfulness and concentration going into it.
Knowing why
Fortunately, I knew the reasons why I had to do everything a bit differently. Firstly, it hurt if I didn’t! That was the immediate feedback. Secondly, I wanted the wound to stay as healthy and dry as possible, so it can heal fast with no
complications. That’s the more long-term goal.
I’ve had to find ways to give my body the care it needs, while it’s recovering and healing.
I’ve had to
- adapt my behaviour,
- adapt how I use my body,
- get help here and there,
- take longer to get things done, and
- remember to take a few extra supplements to help the healing along (Arnica, Zinc,
Vitamin D, Manuka Honey and extra water)
Back to Habits and Self-Care
This whole thing made me think of how we sometimes investigate our habits only when something in our life has become painful. For example:
- When we have a health
problem
- When we’re constantly exhausted
- When we never get our own work done because we’re helping others
- When a relationship doesn’t work
- When a career is
unsatisfying
- When others are irritated with us because we’re always late
- And 1,000 other challenges that lead us to feel ‘pain’ in an important part of life
When life is chugging along well, we hardly have to think about our habits and
actions. But when something is off and hurts, we suddenly need to re-evaluate and think of different ways to do things.
That’s exactly how it is with self-care, too. We hum along on automatic for a while, until the day we realise that we’ve neglected our self-care. When trouble like exhaustion, resentment, irritation, health challenges, stress and overwhelm show up, it’s time for us to start thinking
about how we take care of our energy reserves.
And if you’re anything like me, the guilt and doubt shows up... dare I really put myself and my own needs first?
Changing our self-care habits and behaviour
Change is hard for most
people – even when we know a new behaviour will be good for us. There are many reasons for this, and that’s partly the topic of James Clear’s book.
So if you’re in a place where you need to put in place new self-care habits, because you realise you took the back seat for too long, Atomic Habits explains the Four Laws Of Behaviour Change beautifully and clearly.
The Four Laws:
I’ll describe them very briefly with just one example each. His book has many more examples to illustrate the points.
Make it Obvious
Example: If you want to
drink more water, fill up a bottle the previous evening and put it somewhere where you can’t miss it the next day.
Make it Attractive
Create a motivation ritual. Do something you love immediately before doing the difficult thing. Example: If you want to exercise regularly but it’s hard for you, read a page of a book you
enjoy immediately before you do your 10-minute walk. This works for me when I can’t get out of bed! Reading a thought-provoking book where I learn something, switches on my energy and I can then easily get up and get going.
Make it Easy
Clear
talks about the Two Minute Rule. When we start new habits, we often make it way too hard. Pare the new habit down till it can be done in 2 minutes or less, to make it a no brainer.
Example: If you want to meditate, start with one minute a day. It’s a no-brainer to start with 1 minute, rather than something more daunting. Then, it’s easy to increase it to 2 minutes.
Make it Satisfying
Give yourself an immediate reward when you’ve done your new habit. We are more likely to repeat a behaviour when the experience is satisfying. Pleasure teaches the brain that a behaviour is worth remembering and repeating. Example: If you want to exercise more, listen to music or an audiobook you love at the same time. This is the
way I get the dishes done these days.
Start with Why
If someone had told me I was going to have to wash my hair sideways in the shower for the next 10 days with no good reason whatsoever, it would have been very difficult for me to comply.
One of the important things we must be clear on is why we’re going to embark on new behaviour. Change is hard for humans; we usually do things on automatic for a reason. The brain loves to save energy and thus most of our actions just happen without us having to think. Doing something differently takes a lot of conscious thought, effort and thus energy.
Like
Simon Sinek says, ‘Start with Why’. If you haven’t seen his video on this, it’s fantastic (Google it).
Sometimes we’re so busy getting through life on an empty energy tank, that we don't get to consider why self-care is truly vital, and how to put it in place.
I've had to pause and think
about what my body needs in the next few days. If I didn't, I would have immediate pain. Often we neglect our self-care because the pain of it is not immediate. It can take a loooong time for the effects to become apparent. And then, dear , it takes a while to rectify.
A sustainable life does include making sure our own energy tanks are filled up. I wish that for
you!
If you battle with this very thing, I invite you to take a look at the new self-study class below.
