On a Business Note
Have you noticed how easy it is for us to discount what we have right now, in favour of 'what will make me happy somewhere in the
future'?
I noticed a few times over the past 2 weeks how many things I wished for in the past is true for me already. AND what's more... I realised how easily I disregarded it.
When I go on my daily walk at different times of the day, I see other people going for their walks, too. Sometimes I have the ridiculous
thought "I wish I could have a more flexible life where I could go for a long walk whenever I choose."
And I say 'ridiculous' because 30 seconds after that thought, I realise that's what I AM DOING already. Most days, I can be flexible with my walking time.
Recently (while I've been recovering), I
spent less time at my computer and went for longer, but slower walks. In the middle of the day, when I felt like being outside instead of stuck to a bit of technology.
I could only shake my head and started wondering why it's so easy to totally forget how many things I wished for are already present in my life.
It turns out, it has everything to do with survival and there's nothing wrong with us when this happens. We're not 'super negative' - we're just completely normal!
Our brain’s job
Our brains are designed to keep us safe. Staying secure helps us survive, and
the brain's main focus isn't happiness. It's more about safety. Certain features in our brains help with this, but they can also make us less happy by focusing on problems.
3 Features of the brain designed for safety and survival
#1
First, there's something called negativity bias. Our brains pay more attention to bad things than good ones. I heard this first from Rick Hanson: “Bad events or news stick in our minds like Velcro, while good things slide off like Teflon”. This is because remembering bad or painful stuff helps us avoid danger in the future.
#2
Next, we have hedonic adaptation. We quickly get used to good things, so they stop making us as happy over time. For example, eating cake every day won't feel as wonderful after a while. Our brains crave new experiences for that happy feeling (and there reasons for craving new experiences that ALSO go back to survival!)
#3
Lastly, there's affect forecasting. This is when our brains try to predict how we'll feel about future events based on how we're feeling now. We're often wrong about this. We might think we'll hate that get-together next week (because we're anxious now). However - think about how many times you thought you wouldn’t
like something, and then ended up enjoying it.
Our brains are notoriously bad at predicting how we'll experience something in the future. It takes into account a single piece of information, forgetting all the other options and circumstances that will also be in the mix.
What
does this mean for us?
For a start, It means we have more insight into how our brains work and why... and we can let go of thinking that we're 'just being negative'. An insight in itself can be healing.
And I think even more useful than that is – what will we DO with this information
now?
Partly, these brain traits mean we need tools to handle stress and difficult feelings better. By doing so, we can reduce the negativity bias and affect forecasting, and enjoy positive experiences more fully.
This way, we can find more joy and happiness in our lives over the long
term.
How to do this, though?
If you know me, you might've guessed I’m going to mention EFT now!
Emotional Freedom Techniques (plural because there are many techniques inside this modality) is a
wonderful and simple way we can help ourselves to reduce difficult emotions like anger, anxiety, sadness, fear, loss, aggravation, heaviness, regret, envy, jealousy, resentment and so many others.
Last week I used EFT for 5 minutes on my busiest client day. I felt nauseous, had vertigo, didn’t sleep well and was feeling despondent because of the long day ahead with very little energy in my
tank.
I explain in the video how we can use EFT very simply for self-care in just a few minutes.
