Dear
I have two topics on my mind today: Anti-Racism and Fearing Visibility. On some levels, these topics are not unrelated (crazy as it sounds).
First, I want to acknowledge that we're going through tumultuous times. We're being asked to look deep into ourselves to discover and heal hidden (and overt) prejudices. Yes, it is uncomfortable!
I've recently been asked by the EFT International organization to write something from a white female perspective on the race issues that are currently in the spotlight. It's a challenge to have a balanced perspective when we've been sitting on one side of the fence all our lives.
I'm so intensely aware of the difficulties surrounding racism. I come from South Africa, lived through the apartheid years, and started to investigate my own contributions to racism. We sometimes don't speak up about difficult issues because there might be fears for safety underneath: my own tribe will reject me, there will be arguments,
disagreements, conflict, violence... talking about emotive subjects can tear families apart, break up friendships and cause even more hurt and pain. The Drama Triangle is often kept alive and well (Victim, Perpetrator, Rescuer).
Yet, some part of us might knows it's about time... Racism is not okay. Differences will always exist between cultures, nations and languages... but it's not okay to oppress, restrict or kill people simply because they have a different skin colour.
Feelings on both sides have been festering for a long time. When they're suddenly allowed out, they could explode. We may say things in ways we regret.
I'll be tapping my way through some of these difficult times and conversations. I hope you'll join me in digging deep and peeling layers we need to let go of (fear, shame, responsibility, not speaking up, sadness, defensiveness, revenge, betrayal, hurt, anger, resentment) ... it's all there, and all allowed. Not one ounce of suppression or denial will be useful in the
long run.
I'd love to be of support in this area. If you have thoughts about anything useful I might offer, please write me a note. A tapping call to calm some of the intense emotion, perhaps? When there's intense emotion, the brain has a difficult time making decisions and taking right action.
Fearing Visibility
Speaking up and being seen can be uncomfortable and scary, even if we believe in a cause (like a movement, justice, or our work).
Over the years I've become aware of many fears as I wanted to share about my work and my business (whether it was to write my newsletter, make a video, or share thoughts on social media):
- Someone will judge or criticize me or my work
- It's not good enough (or I am not good enough)
- Someone will argue with my thoughts and opinions, and I hate conflict
- I'll be rejected, and that's too painful... so just don't go there
- What if I need to be more available now that I've shared? I don't want to lose my quiet time...
- I'm already so busy, how can I possibly take more on?
- Who am I to do this work or teach others?
- I don't want to be the center of attention! Get me outta here!
Are some of these familiar to you? If so, and you have a business, you might know (like I found out!) it can really hinder our business growth.
We can be a super-duper practitioner/coach/intuitive/teacher/artist/web designer/anything - but if we're not letting others know about our work, our skills are wasted!
I've had to work through many layers of these fears. My work on it is not done yet. When I started my newsletters (2006), I could not write a single personal thought! I copied stories that inspired me and sent that - because I was too scared of anyone criticizing my thoughts. There has been progress since then. :)
It wasn't an overnight success for me. (What a ridiculous thought anyway!) It took a long time and many small steps for me to be more comfortable and visible. Some days I still don't want to show up. Yet, I have learnt the importance of being consistent (it was my word for 2018) and taking steps anyway, despite the resistance.
I wonder if you can identify with any of this?
I'm teaching a class this month with someone I respect and admire. I've been working on my business goals with George Kao for 2 years. His philosophies land so gently in my nervous system. If your'e not already following him, his website and FB
page might interest you.
George invited me to teach a "Visibility" class to his community, because many of his clients are sensitive souls with caring hearts who battle with this challenge. You're warmly invited too! Whether you're an introvert or extrovert - if you find the above a challenge, you're very welcome in this workshop!
It starts Wednesday, 17 June. We'll have 3 classes, and do lots of tapping together!
Wishing you wellness, ease and kindness to yourself.
With love,
Liesel
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