Dear
It's been a while since I've been in your inbox. Partly it's because my tailbone, butt and lower back met with the bottom of our staircase in an unplanned and somewhat painful way! (More below).
The other part is - I'm prone to a bit of "I plan things but when it's time to do them I find something else to do instead...."
Or ... something else seems more important, more urgent, more pleasant...
Any of it sound familiar? You're not alone.
In the next few weeks I'm taking extra special care of what I plan, so that I can actually stick to those plans with a juicy feeling instead of resistance (and subsequent guilt).
This week I share
- a bit of my staircase-tailbone journey of the past 10 days,
- a few things I learned as a result,
- a wonderful Ted Talk that helped me understand exactly how important it is to reach out in times of difficulty, and
- a helpful conversation I had with my strengths mentor about how to manage our weaknesses - especially if you're a coach, healer, trainer or other service provider.
Articles
What I learned from tumbling down 10 stairs
(Side Note: My website is in development right now, which means I can't publish this post there for another few days. You can read the whole article here on FB, or wait a week or so, and read the edited post on my blog.)
- First and foremost - it's an experience best avoided in future. For sure. :)
- There is always, always, always something to be grateful for. I could have hurt a lot more body parts and I didn’t.
- #WorkFromHome has wonderful benefits. Andrew was home, busy on a call, and only 10 steps away to come and help me.
- One paramedic (or dr, I forget now) called the coccyx “a useless bone, they don’t really know why it exists”. I positively assure you – it is not useless when there are suddenly so many actions I cannot do!
- The NHS is awesome. The care, kindness, professionalism, the level they went to to get to the bottom of a symptom I experienced is astounding – right in the middle of a pandemic, and with limited resources. Each person who came on my path was a gem.
- The inside of an ambulance is pretty amazing. It even had a ‘roof window’ so I could see the treetops whizzing by on the way.
- It is useful to be able to ask and receive help. Better get practicing before the universe drops a situation in your lap where it is a necessity!
- At least 55,000 other people in the UK have experienced coccyx trouble – judging by the number of reviews on the coccyx protection cushion I purchased. That gave me no end of a twisted sense of joy and a community feeling… I’m not the only one!
- I had the most amazing people on my ‘team’ right from the start: My parents, siblings, my awesome husband Andrew, the NHS paramedics, nurses, Drs, a few very dear friends who checked in daily, and also my supportive MasterHeart ‘team’ from George Kao since I broke the news to them. Thank you! I learned how incredibly healing it is to just have someone check on me on good days, bad days and any ol'
days.
- I watched a fantastic Ted Talk a few days after I fell and it gave me 2 very important perspectives: It totally matters how we think about our situation, and it absolutely matters that we reach out and get help when we go through a difficult time. The video is in a separate secion below.
- It is super helpful to have complementary healing methods to help ourselves and our loved ones. It feels so very empowering to be able to ‘do something’ while lying on the couch for hours. I’ve been using EFT (lightly), Jin Shin Jyutsu, Quantum Touch, and mindfulness. If you can, learn at least one of these.
- I am so very grateful that I started working on my medical anxiety issues in January this year with an accredited EFT practitioner/psychotherapist. It meant I could go through loads of scans, procedures, pokes, prods, and lots of waiting between everything - with relatively little anxiety and a lot of peace and acceptance. That included a Covid test up the nose that was almost more unpleasant than anything
else!
- This experience has truly made me think about what’s important in life. Relationships, friends, caring for each other, being there when another person needs it… so much good in my life comes from the caring, beautiful hearts of others.
The above was written 5 days after the fall, and the below 10 days after. Reflections always come in layers.
- Accidents happen in a thin sliver of time - milliseconds of unawareness. I was in a big hurry, a bit frustrated about something and did not concentrate as I put my foot down at the top of the staircase. Though I believe there are no 'accidents' - I do believe we can all afford to slow down and do things a bit more mindfully.
- It was a strange experience for me to have absolutely no desire to communicate or 'be with' the outside world, except for those in my extremely close circle who were looking after me. I was in a lot of pain and discomfort, worried myself sick about symptoms and whether I had permanent damage. Usually most of my thoughts are about others and their well-being. During these 10 days, it was different. I had nothing
left inside to 'give' or 'care with'. It was a new experience for me to be more inwardly focused, just on my own health, drawn inward. A part of me was relieved, and another part of me was alarmed.... because it wasn't normal for me. Yet, it taught me that it is possible for me to not spend most of my energy focused on others. Why is this an important insight? Caring is good right? Yes - but everything in balance. I often go out of balance in this area. For a person with high Empathy and
high Responsibility, always caring more about others than myself, if it was possible once, it can happen again. It's just next time I won't choose such a hard experience to experience it!
- I was unable to bend even a few centimetres for about 9 days, and discovered how much my back does for me, without a single thought. It's only when something goes amiss that we suddenly appreciate normal functionality. Please - appreciate your back and every single piece of you that is 'normal' in this moment. Normal is wonderful!
- I discovered how crucial it is to get the right help. We can do 'DIY' and it's wonderful... and it might not get us the results we yearn for. It was only when I saw on osteopath after the swelling was sufficiently down, that she determined a nasty spasm in my lower back was causing most of the pain and discomfort with bending down. She sorted it with ultrasound and gentle massage - and the relief is huge. When
an expert goes in and finds the root of the problem, healing can happen so much faster.
- Bruised bone can hurt as much as a broken bone - straight from the dr and osteopath's mouths!
- It matters how we treat and talk to people. If we are an expert and someone else is scared (a client, a friend, a family member) - it works to be kinder and more emphatic than usual. To illustrate: One of the docs in hospital was focused on trying to find the cause for a symptom. He talked (in front of me) to himself, about my symptoms.... which made me more anxious. I know he was doing his best to find an answer
in his head and am extremely grateful for the in-depth analysis on his side. Yet, if he spoke to me, instead of about me, looked me in the eye, asked me more questions, instead of running through scenarios in his head, he might have saved time and had a calmer patient.
The full Story, if you're interested
More insights will follow, I'm pretty sure of it. Insights and learning are usually uncovered in layers, not all at once.
Interviews
How to Manage your Weaknesses if you're a Solopreneur
We all have strengths and weaknesses. The challenge is to strike a balance - to use our strengths most of the time and at the same time 'manage' our weaknesses. But how do we do that? I see this challenge very often for solopreneurs - those of us who are coaches, healers, counselors, mentors, trainers. We have to wear so many hats and many of the tasks we need' to do, don't fall
in our 'Strengths'. What to do in this case? Dries had some really awesome, helpful tips and mindsets to manage this challenge!
We start off by going through a bit of Cliftonstrengths background. If you're not sure what 'strengths' and 'weaknesses' mean, the first 15 mins will get you up to speed.
Resource: How to Make Stress your Friend
This sounded impossible to me! I must admit the info in this video made me sit up and think about what I say about stress in a completely different way.
Have you heard that stress is bad for you and contributes to our diseased states? It is true, yes.... and it turns out that how we think about stress (that racing heart, fast breathing, weak legs and all the other bits) really makes a difference in how our body can handle it! And did you know that oxytocin (the connection hormone as most of us know it) is also secreted during high stress? For a good reason, it
turns out!
These 15 minutes are well worth watching for the sake of your health and well being!
That's it for this week. May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you thrive, and may you be loved and supported.
With love,
Liesel
Do you know a sensitive soul who might benefit from my articles or work?
They can go here to receive a personalised message in their inbox.
Hi, I'm Liesel!
I'm a sensitive introvert who loves supporting other sensitive souls to go beyond what they thought were possible for them. We'll work through your fears, concerns and emotional blocks, and support you to make the most of your strengths for authentic confidence. There's a variety of ways we can work together. Liesel works with EFT tapping, CliftonStrengths, the Enneagram, coaching, NLP and other tools. If you have questions,
please feel free to reply to this email.
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